Lies - 1 November 2009

The final type of poem Melanie and Sean helped me write were Lies. These poems are exactly as the name implies - line after line of lies, ranging from the painfully overused to the absurdly hilarious. Enjoy!

Lies 1:

I kissed Richard Gere last night

he tried to get to second base, but I wouldn't let him

water is disgusting

please, I don't want you to leave

I climbed everest in 4-inch heels

I wish I was taller

I'm in love with your dog and we're running away together

You can find us in Alaska

It's warm there this time of year

It is highly overrated

Lies 2:

I mean it when I say "Excuse me"

God cares when you sneeze

I hate when you touch me

No, man, THIS is the best weed ever

I don't get high when I smoke

no, you don't look fat in that dress

but your sister looks fat in hers

Guiness, the dog, can keep his balls

I gave a dollar to a bum once, and I hope the food he bought with it tasted great.

Lies 3:

Helen Keller thinks I'm cute

she told me all about it with her lovely voice

I put quarters in the take a penny tray

I'm gay

I shot the sheriff

Go on, I'm listening

I don't feel rushed

This is my favorite food

I feel bad when I see commercials about Darfur

I don't care when I see commercials about abused animals.