Monday, November 2, 2009

Lies - 1 November 2009

The final type of poem Melanie and Sean helped me write were Lies. These poems are exactly as the name implies - line after line of lies, ranging from the painfully overused to the absurdly hilarious. Enjoy!

Lies 1:

I kissed Richard Gere last night
he tried to get to second base, but I wouldn't let him
water is disgusting
please, I don't want you to leave
I climbed everest in 4-inch heels
I wish I was taller
I'm in love with your dog and we're running away together
You can find us in Alaska
It's warm there this time of year
It is highly overrated

Lies 2:

I mean it when I say "Excuse me"
God cares when you sneeze
I hate when you touch me
No, man, THIS is the best weed ever
I don't get high when I smoke
no, you don't look fat in that dress
but your sister looks fat in hers
Guiness, the dog, can keep his balls
I gave a dollar to a bum once, and I hope the food he bought with it tasted great.

Lies 3:

Helen Keller thinks I'm cute
she told me all about it with her lovely voice
I put quarters in the take a penny tray
I'm gay
I shot the sheriff
Go on, I'm listening
I don't feel rushed
This is my favorite food
I feel bad when I see commercials about Darfur
I don't care when I see commercials about abused animals.

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